Were' a bit faux-Satan really...
I think we need a bit of a redesign of the pages. Nothing personal against them and all that, but...well, it's called "Satan's Arse" and it looks like a Strawberry Cornetto.
Any of you any good at that?
I was sat opposite this oik on the train yesterday. He looked like an effete version of Prince Harry but with less brain power...I swear he was drooling. You could have written an essay on him - why chavs shouldn't be allowed to procreate. I mean, he was your stereotypical teenage maggot:
Baseball cap? - check! (Bonus points for it being a bland shade of grey)
Tracksuit top? - check! (also grey)
Tracksuit bottoms? - check! (and you guessed it, grey again)
Unlaced fat trainers? - check! (Whitey-grey)
Huge leg spreadage in excess of 90 degrees? - check!
Scowl as if he's just found out that his girlfriend has been sleeping with his pet labrador? - check!
He sat there noisily hoiking up phlegm and swilling it in his mouth, while occasionally letting out a little "tick" as he fired a miniscule bit across the carriage. Then he got out of the train and, I'm not kidding, it looked like projectile vomiting.
I wanted to ram his head into the trail of his sputum, then make him drink the interesting combination of phlegm, blood and gravel, before holding his head in front of the nearest express train. And I wanted to do this and receive a monetary award for services to humanity.
There's no justice in the world.
Any of you any good at that?
I was sat opposite this oik on the train yesterday. He looked like an effete version of Prince Harry but with less brain power...I swear he was drooling. You could have written an essay on him - why chavs shouldn't be allowed to procreate. I mean, he was your stereotypical teenage maggot:
Baseball cap? - check! (Bonus points for it being a bland shade of grey)
Tracksuit top? - check! (also grey)
Tracksuit bottoms? - check! (and you guessed it, grey again)
Unlaced fat trainers? - check! (Whitey-grey)
Huge leg spreadage in excess of 90 degrees? - check!
Scowl as if he's just found out that his girlfriend has been sleeping with his pet labrador? - check!
He sat there noisily hoiking up phlegm and swilling it in his mouth, while occasionally letting out a little "tick" as he fired a miniscule bit across the carriage. Then he got out of the train and, I'm not kidding, it looked like projectile vomiting.
I wanted to ram his head into the trail of his sputum, then make him drink the interesting combination of phlegm, blood and gravel, before holding his head in front of the nearest express train. And I wanted to do this and receive a monetary award for services to humanity.
There's no justice in the world.
posted by U-B at 28.6.05
4 Comments:
Few flames help you feel a bit more hellish?
Maybe I'm a bit odd, but i have to say I particularly like that any of my comments are now accompanied by a pert arse....
stop commenting and write a proper entry you buffoon!
I think I may try and get all our profiles listed on the right. Well done for the redesign.
U-B, this may seem petty and stupid, but the point of me using a pseudonym was that i didn't particularly want my actual name on any of the crap i write.
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